Me

My name is Laura (BS). I am really sensitive (sometimes), I am very serious, direct, peaceful and honest. You can consider me "dry" if you're constantly energetic or searching for stimulation, but in reality I'm a smart & creative person according to friends. In the inside of me there are lots of emotion clusters, dreams and passions about what I do, it's why I'm exposing it here. If you noticed, I mostly play the role of the Jester in this site, which has a provocative or sarcastic tone when writing these pages, but I myself am not edgy or rude at all, just playing a character while overhyperbolizing ideas to fit the vibe. Made so the ideas do not get slowly boring as you read along the text. Though I won't be like this when having a real conversation, but I can only get a little expressive when I'm around close friends or when I feel comfortable enough to talk about a topic I am deeply interested in... The gal in the picture is me enjoying my favorite season of the year; winter. Now, here goes my life story (the moment everyone has been waiting for...): I was born in Salzburg - Austria on accident during vacation. Of course my mother was surprised and my family got in a bit of a pickle. I spent around 2 years of my life there until we decided to go back to my Dad's home which was in Bielefeld - Germany. I was a trilingual middle child at the moment with little knowledge about Spanish (my mother speaks it), knowing half of toddler English and German. When I was 10 I got officially diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia with side-effects such as auditive hallucinations, those weren't pleasant news. For the following months I received 24/7 attention which I think it made my paranoia worse. I was constantly followed or my parents would check on me which I understand, who wouldn't be worried and careful of a child with a mental condition wandering around... nevertheless, thankfully I can somehow control it but I can't shake off the feeling of being spied on, it's why I make security one of my main priorities and I focus on practices about it constantly. Going back to my geographical life: Now years later, when I was 15, we decided to have a better stable life in Poland, which is where I am typing this right now. Going back to the first line, the reason I'm easily pissed off are my parents or people trying to provoke me or mock me which resulted in building up anger and stress. The only thing that could free me from that feeling was drawing (I will upload some in the gallery section) or making music, especially fast music that reduced my anxiety thanks to me pouring all of my wrath in it (not all of the fast music I made comes from anger, it's generally venting). I still like fast music, I like any genre and I mean it, but right now I decided to set it aside and lean towards into trance, tracker & fantasy music. I always liked computers and the internet... from now on you know I'm a big nerd, I often get told my interests or likings do not fit me, but sincerely I think anyone should be able to do anything they want without being limited by their physical appearance or their own unique way of being. I have a very forest-inspired aesthetic or a typical casual home attire. Everything depends on my mood: I can vary from questionable, grumpy, calm, thoughtful, smart or lazy. I'm certainly unpredictable but I hope I tend to make it obvious that I'm not static... my mind is vast. I sometimes lose track in what I type. I will probably update this in the future, thank you for reading, it means the world to me.